I thought you were a decent person. I thought you were a good friend, a good person. I dunno. Maybe you are a good person and you just made a bad decision. But that bad decision completely eroded my faith in something I thought was perfect. It jumped inside of me and is holding on to my heart, without letting go. I am trying to move on but I don’t know how. It’s hard to believe you are a good person or that you just made a mistake because how does one just accidentally become the other woman in two close friends’ relationship? How does that one person talk to the girl in that relationship and pretend to be her friend and talk to her while all the time she is cheating with her boyfriend? How do you accidentally fucking do that. I want to believe that you are a good person but thinking about you and what you did and what happened makes me sick. I mean that literally. It makes me physically nauseous. Part of me hates you, part of me wants to scream and shout and force you out of our lives entirely, but part of me feels sorry for you and wants to be your friend but I can’t get past those other, entirely awful parts that I feel inside. I don’t get it. I hate this. Why can’t I just hate you entirely and just be done with this?
I am trying so hard to move past this but it is so fucking hard. I know it takes two to tango and he is half at fault here, but I am more angry at you. I am more furious and disgusted and crushed and hurt and dead inside from what you chose to do.
Fuck you. Fuck you so so so so so so much.
